Stuff has been relatively okay. Its amazing to me that I can't find privacy in my own room. I mean, how sad is that? I feel comfortable in the oddest places in my house. I can sit on the floor underneath the kitchen table and feel insanely comfortable. Sometimes I lay in the bathtub;and just think, write, whatever - but that only lasts so long before someone needs to go to the bathroom.

I realized how introverted I have became; while thinking over the past 5 years. I feel nauseous and disgusted with myself a lot of the time, but it's something I'd rather not talk about because I'd rather think about happier matters; so the depressing ones are off my mind and I don't have to be reminded they're there. I guess it's how I deal. I put it off until it's out of sight, even if temporarily; anything to rid it for a bit.

Lately, I've just been so apathetic regarding anything. Even music seems senseless, since it's been put on fucking pause for so long. And I feel horrible even saying that. It's just that when it comes to the music, everyone's dragging their ass about it, putting it as a last priority type of thing it seems. I don't know about anyone else, but music and writing were the only things that had me absolutely captivated and it's what I'd like to pursue; but when you're on a totally different page than everyone else, shit is hard. I'm so frustrated over it.

Socially, it's safe to say that it's never been something I was good at. But I'm at a point right now where I honestly have no desire to physically meet new people; I don't think it'll happen anytime soon.

My head is pounding, so I guess I'm going to lay down. An hour went by very quick.